Life's A Journey

Rings

Things between me and her have turned all good & positive.

Had a great weekend in KL last week, spending time with each other and reconnecting.

Took alot of photos together and I could feel that we are closer now.

She even said 'I love you' to me, words that I've been dying to hear from her since Day 1.

We are now looking at Promise Rings and other than Tiffany Rose Band (don't have her ring size though) , this one  (inserted pic above) from GoldHeart is the next option.

She will look at them when she's here to visit me end April and then we will decide which to get.

 

 

 

"Be Patient & Give Me Time"

First, I got a long email (in Chinese) from her, explaining her reason why she needed to end our relationship. After I got home and sent her a short reply, she started to Whatsapp me. She was having secong thoughts about our breakup. I agreed to give her time and will wait for her till she's ready. She wants me to stop crying and let her deal with her demons.Once she feel 'whole' again, we can start all over and work from there.

Sounds like a good plan to me!

 

Single Again!

She finally made up her mind! And...... we are done!

I've msged her couple days ago,asking her if she wants an iPad2 or iPad3 as her Valentine's Day/ Birthday present. She didn't reply me so I msged her again this afternoon and even forward her the email I received from Apple. She replied me at around 11.30pm this evening,saying that she don't need anything and I should save the money for myself. Then, she typed: " Maggie" . I knew what she wanted to say before she even begins. She kept apologising to me, which I found it quite unnecessary. She knew the deal. I will delete her away from my life: iPhone, Facebook and such.Her friends will be gone from my life too. No contact till I'm ready. I will only keep her email address. The irony is, there is a chance that I might be posted to KL Muji to help with the setup of new stores. Rumors say that a couple people will be there for a few months. I mentiond this to her and I want her to do just one thing: If I'm there, please pretend that she didn't see me and I will do the same.

After saying"take care" the final time to her, I began to remove all links/traces of her & her friends from my "web life" & iPhone. I've done it before with Patty and I will do it again.I've also informed the gang using Whatsapp about the breakup so that they will not be asking the usual question like " When is my next trip to KL?" or " How is she?"

No more. This time is for real. I'm swearing off all relationships cos it's really waste of time. No matter how hard I've tried in a relationship, things will still go south. Singlehood suits me better.

Personality Tests Result

Hello,
I got my personality tested with Personality Tests app on my iPhone
and I found out this about myself:




Test Results
Your overall notion is that you feel satisfied in the present phase of your life.

You see things in your life as they are. There is no confusion and mystery wrapped around them. Your life is clear to you.

At the current stage your goals in life are pretty much determined. You just need to follow them.

You have your own goals in life which are not generally accepted by everyone, they are just right for you and you don't care if they are accepted by everyone else.

You have strongly determined goals in your life and there is only one right way to achieve them. Everything else is a waste of time.

You feel that your life is pretty much stable; you do not expect some drastic changes in your life for better or worst. You like current level of stability of your life.

There are people and events in your everyday life, but you are not too much focused on interacting with them. You are most pleased when you assume the role of passive spectator at this stage of your life.

You do possess a high level of openness when it comes to establishing new relationships and meeting new people.

Everything that has a start has an end, same goes for life. This is perfectly clear to you and you accept the natural process of life.

You are aware of your own mortality. You are aware that the life will inevitably come to an end, but this thought does not burden you in your everyday life. You will rather concentrate on the things that can be done in the present.

You live life in its natural cycle. The end has come to everyone before, and you accept it to be a perfectly normal conclusion of one's journey.



Test yourself and share your findings!



Bye!






  Sent with Personality Tests App.



Sent from my iPhone

January 2012 Horoscope...Right oN!

"I would like to go back to the topic of a disagreeable partner. If you are attached, you may find your mate acting a bit erratic lately, perhaps showing sudden mood swings. Don't try to second-guess what your significant other is thinking, but rather open up lines of communication. Your partner may not even be aware of these changes.

It may help to know that your partner's need for freedom and space is become increasingly strong due to the presence of independent-minded Uranus in your marriage house. If you are a September-born Libra, you likely know what I am talking about. You need not read more into this trend than what you see on the surface - nothing may be wrong.

Keep your approach flexible, open, calm, and warm. In the few years ahead, you may need to be the rock in the relationship, and if so, you can do this. Uranus will not leave this area of your chart until 2019, so it may mean your partner is experiencing a renaissance of sorts, which could be exciting (or not) for you!"

Time Out Suggestion

Had a long SMS chat with her last night.

Of cos I was crying as I typed throughout the 'conversation'. I suggested that we took a break from each other for one year. That will give her time to reflect what she wants and if our relationship is something she needs. She will have the time & freedom and won't hear from me till 2013. That will give her plenty of space as I won't be a distraction and she won't feel the pressure from making excuses to her family whenever I came over to visit her.

I too, mentioned to her that I hate this option but if we want any chance to make things work, we just have to do this and face the 'pain' once and for all. Perhaps she really isn't ready for relationship and I wasn't the right person for her.This would be the opportunity for her to 'get out' and I will let her go when the one year time is up.Or maybe even earlier.

I've done all I could in this realtionship and now it's her turn to decide if she wish to go on.

"You Don't Understand Me!"

I'm started to think,maybe I'm not a good girlfriend or to act like one after all.

After hearing that many 'you don't understand me', makes me wonder, if we were really meant for each other. I have no doubts that I love her but loving her doesn't mean I'll able to read her thoughts and know her intentions all the time. She probably need special pampering/TLC,which due to long distance, I could not do it. There's only so many SMS I could send or talking her through Skype to find out how she's doing on the other end. If she really thinks I'm no good for her, maybe I should let her go and let her find someone that she can relate better. Perhaps with this other person, she will be happier and I'll be happy for her too.

I don't know.

I'm pretty sure she'll never find another, who treats her better than I do but you see,that won't be enough. Until she met someone, I'm willing to be there for her. I just hope that when she do meet this right person, she will let me know and I will give her my blessing.

Like the song,"Sometimes, love just ain't enough."

 

Toys

If I can have my way, I would recommend all schools to include sex toys selection into the sex education syllabus!

Why? Simply because, girls are experimenting sex at the young age of 14. Sometimes they resulted with unwanted pregnancies or worst, sexually transmitted diseases.All girls should first learn about masturbation!

You see, sex toys are very practical and safe. You get fast orgasms, stress reliefs and best of all, you can have it anytime,anywhere! Just need batteries and voila!

I first heard of 'rabbit toy' from my first ex. Never thought much of it. Fingers and pillows usually do the 'job' quite adequately.But after we split, I went through a long period of clinical depression. Zero sex drive for a year. Then, when I met my 2nd ex, my sex drive came back full force. Back then, only pillows could do the job.Fingers ? Not working anymore.

When I finally get to meet P face-to-face in SF, she used her bullet toy on me and I was hooked! We did went to the famous sex toy store in SF and she bought me one.Come to think of it, that little red zebra pattern thingy lasted more than 5 years! It finally died on me last year. Went into panic mode cos I didn't have any backups. Immediately, the next day, I ordered one through online store. That one only lasted 1 year.But luckily,this time round, I have backups! Hehehe! To be exact,I have 3 backups! The picture I've posted at the top,is one of them. I have yet to try it. Perhaps tonight! *wink*

We Chinese have a saying,"有头发，边个想做瘌痢". Of course if you have a lover, you probably wouldn't need toys,unless you want to try some for play/experiment with him/her together. For those who have the urges/needs and probably too scared for one-night-stands, I strongly suggest toys. Trust me, you get all the fun and none of the problems!

Health Concern

I've been losing weight and that worries me.

It could be stress or simply due to the amount of physical work I need to perform each day. Not just weight lost, people around me have started to notice how haggard I look and keeps telling me that. It's true I tend to watch my diet but nowadays, I ate so much more than usual and still, I can't seem to put on weight. Going back to retail also means I will get sick more often. That,again, will cause me to lose weight too.

Think I really need to slow down and try to rest more.

Need to stop being paranoid too.

 

 

Expectations & Goals

All my life, I've always tried hard to meet expectations of others: expectations from parents, expectations from teachers and expectations from my seniors/managers. I think so much so that, I don't know what is my own goals anymore. I'm just adjusting myself from one tasks to another, trying to please everyone but myself.

Until recently, I really don't have a clue what I want in life. Sad isn't it? I'm soon to be 39 and still totally at loss what I want to achieve. Perhaps I was blessed with great parents & friends and do not have to worry much for my whole life. But still, I felt like I have not reach my potential and kinda 白活了。

I'm not a religious person but I've been asking the universe many times, to show me a sign. Give me a hint what I can do and perhaps be successful, making my parents proud. Unfortunately, it was nada. Nothing. Zero.Not a signal at all. The thing is, I've read enough books to know that we have to search the answer within ourselves but I simply don't know where to start.

Then, finally, couple months ago, I was desperate and was trying to find a job, so, I had a sleepless night.Kept thinking what motivates me. I know I like to assist people and that makes me happy. Next, I looked inside , asking myself what am I good at. Friends have always commented that my tarot readings are helpful to them. Hmm... So 1+1, I put those two ideas together and came up with a strange idea: perhaps I could be a tarot reader!

Of course I would ,first,need to brush up my tarot reading skills and get familiarize with all the 72 cards again.But I finally have a goal I could work on! Even though I'm not that confident about this goal, I'm still going to take small steps and see if things work out. So wish me luck!

Sent from my iPhone